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It’s Never Been So Good For St. Valentine

The origins of Valentine’s Day have been the subject of many debates. Valentine’s Day may have its roots in the martyrdom of Saint Valentine in 269 A.D. when he was executed for refusing to renounce Christianity. Some people believe in the narrative of Saint Valentine, a priest who was imprisoned for disobeying Emperor Claudius. Romance Grinches are an example of a group of people that don’t give a damn about the origins of romance.

In 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius proclaimed February 14 in honor of St. Valentine, according to early accounts. It doesn’t matter what the real narrative is because St. Valentine became the patron saint of love at some time. As a result, Valentine’s Day has grown into a day to commemorate the celebration of love and romance, as well as a time to spoil one’s beloved with costly presents, trinkets, jewels, and the elixir of love: chocolate.

A chubby little cherub shooting golden arrows may not be coincidental as the current Valentine’s Day image. The arrows are a good representation of the money we spend impulsively, frequently in ways that are either unnecessary or excessive. And what about the overweight kid? Chocolate with lots of sugar, as you would have imagined.

What if the first Valentine’s Day was created by a group of people who avoided carbohydrates? He’d have his own Web site, discussion boards, chat rooms, and LC Cupid franchises to spread the news about sugar-free chocolates and low-carb treats throughout the world. For one reason. He may fling water bottle flowers and flavored pork rinds instead of arrows. “Share your healthy heart with the one you love,” maybe his catchphrase. Many valentine’s cards would have a health-conscious theme, such as “Be my low-carb valentine” or “Splenda sweets for my sweet.”

Two low-carbers living the high life, singing love songs like Low-Carb Cupid and The One I Love Belongs to the Atkins’ Center would accompany every new romantic partnership. Only upon request will restaurants prepare “high-carb” dishes. Only a few websites and rarely on eBay would be able to supply white flour and refined sugar.

Only two net carbohydrates would be found in a slice of bread, and sugar-free chocolate and peanut butter would be the national lunchtime snack.
“The low glycemic school meal” would be a campaign issue for presidential contenders. “No more sugar, no more flour!” would be political rallying cries. “Carb Low or We Won’t Go!” would be chanted during rallies. “Gwyneth Zellweger gives protein bars and Atkins Crunchers to the needy,” and “Somersize this Summer with Suzanne and every one of Southern California” would appear in the tabloids. High-carb traffickers and low-fat diet experts would be interviewed by Dan Rather over mobile phone from their prison cells. When it comes to romance, you may expect better health, more vigor, and even less weight gain.

It is possible that a low-carb Valentine’s Day may convert Romance Grinches into LC Fans. Until then, I’d want to go shopping for low-carb foods…